Bonfire Basics
by coie - January 12th, 2009.Filed under: Uncategorized.
Rule #1 – Do not place your bonfire materials in a “ditch” that you know used to be a creek bed. Chances are, despite a year long drought, you will have a week of rain and the creek will resurrect itself before you ever had the chance to start your fire.
But, if you are like me and forget to read the rulebook, you have to make do. Here are some tips if you find yourself in a similar scenario.
- Use gasoline, and a lot of it. Careful though, or your hairy arms will become…less hairy.
- Bring along your 11 year old brother. Not only is he good for entertainment purposes – it’s free slave labor!
- Find a good way to employ your time while waiting for your creek to catch fire. Chop down a very large, half rotten tree with your little sister’s hatchet, for instance.
- Wear your handy dandy bandana.
- Contemplate the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal and marvel at our awesome God.
Once we finally got a steady burn, the sun went down like a bullet. Figures. Next Monday I shall conquer the rest of it.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
um… ok… uh, i’m just really glad i was inside and unaware of all this hocus pocus going on outside. My elbows and kneecaps just went numb. Does daddy know that you were using gasoline to light up your bonfire IN THE WOODS?
January 13th, 2009 at 6:27 am
Do you have data service on your LG Shine with AT&T? If so, you should *like totally* download the Pandora radio to your phone. You’d love it.
If you don’t have data, then bummer. No soup for you. Nice work with the fire.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
It’s a good thing Charley wasn’t there to “help” you with your bonfire. He probably would have set every acre you have on fire. did he tell you the last time he started a bonfire in our back yard, the whole fire department showed up?
January 13th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Good to see you blogging more. Must be the new year. 🙂
I need to give you one VERY important rule in starting your fire? Never, never use gasoline. Always stick with kerosene. Gasoline vapors too much before you light the fire and you could find yourself on fire when you go to light it, or an innocent bystander. I mean, not when you go to light the innocent bystander, but the burn pile! 🙂 A friend caught his leg on fire when burning an ant hill years ago using gasoline. I’ve seen another friend almost catch himself on fire with gasoline, but narrowly escaped.
Since moving to the country, a firefighter friend confirmed to us that we should always use kerosone.
Just a little friendly advice! Have a good day!
January 13th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
The Fire Department showed up because they were bored at the station and wanted to come play!! We have monthly “bring your own Napalm” parties. Great fun!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Bored at the station Charley? Really. Good grief.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Coie… listen to Mrs. Jennifer. She is a smart lady and you need to listen to her.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Yea, Coie, that Mrs. Jennifer is a really smart lady and that JenIG is really smart to say so.
Hey, how do I get my name off this thing so it looks like someone else sent it?? Darn it.