Cozie Blog

In my last post I mentioned that I was training my cousin PAUL to take over a part of TOS.  Just to give you a clue of how non-common-sensical he is, here is a look into a conversation we had.

Paul: Oh, you're cutting onions?  Don't cry!
Me: It doesn't bother me as long as I rinse it with cold water and don't breathe in the fumes.
Paul: Whatever!  The fumes get in your eye and that makes it hurt.  Here, I'll prove it.

And with that, he held half an onion about 1/8″ from his eye until both
eyes burned.  I think he could have proved his point just as well
with the internet.  Or, if we were both confident, he should have
told me, “Oh yeah?  Then hold this up to your eye to see what
happens”…But no, he had to prove it with his eye. As for me, if I don't breathe when I cut the onions, I don't cry.

The rest of my post is not for the queezy, so don't look if you fall in
that category otherwise you might throw up on your keyboard and be
cleaning it out all night with tweezers and kleenex.  I have three
subjects, and I'll start with the less gory ones.  The first one
deals with spit, the second, bones, and the third, blood.  And no,
I didn't eat anybody.

Yesterday after driving in circles for about an hour, half my family
arrived at a blogger picnic held in Virginia.  When we arrived, my
car smelled funny and it had been running awfully bad on the way
up.  So I popped my hood and checked my oil.  It was plumb
dry.  I probably nearly killed my engine because I think it's been
out for a while.

Anyways, I had to get some stuff out of my trunk and in the process I
managed to get stung by a bee on my hand.  So I told mom, “Er, I
think I just got stung, but it doesn't hurt very bad.”  The pain
increased and the sting started to itch, too.  All of the sudden I
felt very bright.  I started looking through the grass and found
some PLANTAIN. 
I promptly picked a leaf, stuck it in my mouth, chewed it up something
fierce and spit it out onto the sting.  Then I massaged it
in.  The pain and itch went away almost instantly, and so did the
bump.  After about 1 hour I could hardly find the spot where I was
stung.  Then everyone started talking about it, and wanted me to
find another bit of plantain so that they could examine it.  Boy
oh boy did I feel like a genius.

My second bit of grossness is that we've nearly got an entire cow
skeleton in our yard.  The dogs keeps chewing on the nastiest
smelling things ever.

Ok, and number 3– the grossest of all.  While I was training Paul again today, my friend, KATIE-LOU
called.  While I was talking to her, I realized that Paul's boxers
were sticking out of his pants (like always), so instead of announcing
it while I was on the phone, I decided I'd just kick him and then point
to his pants when he turned around and glared.  But I never
exactly kicked him.  Instead, I hit the chair he was sitting in
and nearly lost my toe.  It hurt, but not too bad.  But THEN,
upon further observation, I realized that I had cracked nearly half my
toenail off.  I think Kaitlyn was laughing over the phone the
whole time. 

After I got off the phone, I took lots of pictures and then I had to
pull the rest of it off my toe.  Which hurt.  And now it is
wrapped in a band-aid because it goes numb every time it hits something
(which is often).  Here are some pictures for your
viewing…..enjoyment.  Warning: my toes/feet are actually uglier
than the “wound”.