Cozie Blog

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Last Words

by coie - May 23rd, 2006.
Filed under: Uncategorized.

I've just discovered that I like WIKIPEDIA
I mean, they've got everything from information on Dumbo to Bulgarian
proverbs.  Dad and I were having fun perusing the site
yesterday.  But today…today I got my fair share of laughs. 
I looked up people's last words…They had a long list of some famous,
some not so famous people and what their last words were.  Some
people are stinkin' hilarious, whether they try to be or not.  I
could only dream of having last words like these.  Here are some
of my favorites.

  • Ja, maar niet te veel.
    • Translation: Yes, but not too much
    • Who: Gerrit Achterberg Dutch poet.
    • Note: Achterberg had just parked his car, when his wife asked: “Shall I bake some potatoes?” After answering the question he suffered a fatal heart attack
  • Wait a minute…

  • mè mou tous kuklous taratte (Μη μου τους κύκλους τάραττε)
    • Translation: Don't disturb my circles!
    • Who: Archimedes
    • In response to a Roman soldier who was forcing him to report to the
      roman general after the capture of Syracuse, while he was busy sitting
      on the ground proving geometry theorems. The soldier killed him.

  • Am I dying, or is this my birthday?

  • I can't sleep.

  • Je vais ou je vas mourir, l'un et l'autre se dit ou se disent. ( french )
    • Translation : I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
    • Who: Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian

  • I'm bored with it all.

  • Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room.
    • Who: Del Close, improvisor, teacher and comedian, died 1999

  • That was a great game of golf, fellers.
    • Who: Bing Crosby.
      He was playing the whole 18 holes of golf (even when his doctor said to
      only do nine). 20 minutes after the game, he suffered a fatal heart

  • That's good. Read some more.
    • Who: Warren G. Harding, to his wife, who was reading him flattering newspaper accounts.

  • This is funny.

Doc Holliday was a consumptive gunfighter. He always thought, and
perhaps hoped, that he would die in a fight or “with his boots on”. He
died in a hotel bed from consumption. These last words were uttered
after seeing his feet with boots off.

  • Tvert imot!
    • Translation: On the contrary!
    • Who: Henrik Ibsen
    • Notes: This was his response to a nurse who told a visitor he was a little better.

  • I am dying. Please…bring me a toothpick.

  • Die my dear, why that's the last thing I'll do

  • Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!
    • Who: Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were

  • Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

  • Why yes, A bulletproof vest
    • Who: Domonic Willard
    • Notes: Willard was a small time foot soldier during the Prohibition
      just before his death by firing squad, he was asked if he had any last

  • “Already?”

I hope my last words end up being something like, “Pass the paintballs, please.”

I tried that cow milk a couple days ago.  You know, that
stuff my mom got from the lady that actually milks the cows herself,
sticks it in a container, and drinks it?  Bleh.  Well, it
tasted fine, but all I could see in my mind were cow udders.  Same
thing happened to dad, so it couldn't be too abnormal.  And THEN I
was looking through the fridge and I found salad dressing.  You
know what the brand was?  Undos.  Yup, undos.  Is it
just me, or does that just too close to Undies as in, Underwear?

3 Responses to Last Words

  1. Haha!

    That was so nicely… random. ^_^

  2. Wikipedia or Wikiquote?

    Were the last words from Wikipedia or Wikiquote? Whichever you used, both are great.

    I wouldn’t want to die from paintball wounds.

    Finally, I hate to break it to you but all milk comes from cow (or other animals'[now there’s a nasty train of thought, just imagine horse, rhino or whale milk]) udders and it has to be gathered a particular way. It’s not like they stab the cow with a giant needle and pump the milk out directly.

  3. Untitled Comment

    I hope I won’t have time for last words when I die…unless it’s something mushy like “I love you”… Interesting! But I am NOT going to wikipedia…I don’t have time to get distracted like that.

    And yes, Undos totally and immediately made me think of undies! Blech!


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