Cozie Blog

Life is nice when you're Cozie

Them Sproutin' Thangs Done Saved Our Lives

by coie - March 21st, 2006.
Filed under: Uncategorized.

Seeing as how no one has dropped dead and the flu symptoms
are gone, I’m figuring the afore mentioned deadly onions saved our lives.  Here my hypothesis told in a 3rd
person narrative.


It was a breezy, warm
day in East Tennessee on the Igarashi Goat and
Curry Ranch.  The Igarashi and Suarez
kids (besides Emmiko, who found a way to fish and “watch James”) were digging
trenches for water and electricity.  Pa
was tilling the ground where Coie had messed it up.


Little did they know
they were slowing dying from Malaria caught from the mosquitoes that live near their
stream and pond.  Poor souls didn’t even
feel bad, whilst their lives were slipping away.  They were too busy arguing over who was going
to use the picks, and who got stuck picking rocks out.


Ma was feeling mighty
delighted to walk among the fruit trees. 
She soon spotted some grassy stuff sticking out above the rest of the
grassy stuff.  She picked it and sniffed.


Ma declared, “Dem dere
sproutin’ thangs done smells lack unguns! 
Put ‘em in our stew tonight, Coie Lou*.”


Later that night Ma
went to play Dirty Bingo, and Coie Lou picked that onion stuff and threw it in
the stew.  Pa felt real scared and did
some research on his laptop.  Everyone
ended up eating it anyways.  Them onions
were actually magic onions, and fought everyone’s Malaria away [hence all the
rumbling and grumbling of stomachs].  And
tada!  We are all alive and living.**


Whew, that was painful trying to write out Mom’s sentence
with a hick accent.  Anyways, that’s my
story.  Do you think my hypothesis is


*My name does not have Lou,
Louise, or any other kinda funny ending at it. 
That was just to add a humorous twist. 

**That repetition was intended, as were all of the
other nonsensical sentences.

11 Responses to Them Sproutin' Thangs Done Saved Our Lives

  1. Cooking is a learning experience!!!

    I think your hypothesis is very scientifically sound…..Don’t worry about the tingling of the toes, that will come later…..

    Even the best of us have our cooking….ummm….un-inspirations…..check out my blog to see my rainbow mashed potato recipe…..


  2. CAgirlwithasoutherndrawl


    Was that like a creative writing assignment?

    Perty funny. Me thinks that them unions has affected yer brain.

    In case I haven’t told ya lately, you make me laugh!

    ~Aunt Spiffy who is coming home TOMORROW!

  3. LOL

    Coie, I’m glad y’all didn’t die… I was beginning to wonder….

    *evil grin*

  4. Bill (LibertyandJustice, but my password ain't resetting)

    Are you feeling OK? Maybe the Tennessee “Heat” has gotten to your head. Did I mention that it’s COLD in Tennessee?

  5. We don't need no steenkin subjict.

    Ah reckon, that thar tale makes me feel ’bout as happy as horse in a clamshell.

  6. Untitled Comment

    Coie, you are hilarious. I love your story. hahaha. Glad no one kicked the bucket. lol.

    Have a great day,


  7. LOL!

    That was really funny! I’m laughing so hard that i’m crying! Happy blogging!

    In Christ


  8. Untitled Comment


    You always have something funny to say, I am so glad you are enjoying the ahem bounty of your property.



  9. Untitled Comment

    You are simply a genius. A miracle worker indeed.

    I salute you, Dr. Coie– medicine woman!

    But I’ll have to pass on the stew.

    Oh and that hick accent was hi-larious!

  10. Latest Update!!!!

    Mother has weird rash behind her neck and strange muscle pains in neck crawling down into the shoulders.

    Father is unable to sleep. With spout of insomnia goes on a 40 hour dive to NY.

    Baby Brother starts slamming his head into things, including the brick fireplace

    Sister can not stop talking

    Oldest Brother runs around in freezing weather without a shirt

    A foul odor engulfs the house… Turns out to be one persons bad breath….

    Is it the toxic unguns or is it just TN…..

  11. MySmokyMtnHomeschool

    Re: :Latest update…

    >>Mother has weird rash behind her neck and strange muscle pains in neck crawling down into the shoulders. >>>

    I hope she hasn’t been playing in the poison ivy again!!!!

    ~Miss Amy Beth <><

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