Them Sproutin' Thangs Done Saved Our Lives
by coie - March 21st, 2006.Filed under: Uncategorized.
Seeing as how no one has dropped dead and the flu symptoms
are gone, I’m figuring the afore mentioned deadly onions saved our lives. Here my hypothesis told in a 3rd
person narrative.
It was a breezy, warm
day in
Curry Ranch. The Igarashi and Suarez
kids (besides Emmiko, who found a way to fish and “watch James”) were digging
trenches for water and electricity. Pa
was tilling the ground where Coie had messed it up.
Little did they know
they were slowing dying from Malaria caught from the mosquitoes that live near their
stream and pond. Poor souls didn’t even
feel bad, whilst their lives were slipping away. They were too busy arguing over who was going
to use the picks, and who got stuck picking rocks out.
Ma was feeling mighty
delighted to walk among the fruit trees.
She soon spotted some grassy stuff sticking out above the rest of the
grassy stuff. She picked it and sniffed.
Ma declared, “Dem dere
sproutin’ thangs done smells lack unguns!
Put ‘em in our stew tonight, Coie Lou*.”
Later that night Ma
went to play Dirty Bingo, and Coie Lou picked that onion stuff and threw it in
the stew. Pa felt real scared and did
some research on his laptop. Everyone
ended up eating it anyways. Them onions
were actually magic onions, and fought everyone’s Malaria away [hence all the
rumbling and grumbling of stomachs]. And
tada! We are all alive and living.**
Whew, that was painful trying to write out Mom’s sentence
with a hick accent. Anyways, that’s my
story. Do you think my hypothesis is
accurate?
*My name does not have Lou,
Louise, or any other kinda funny ending at it.
That was just to add a humorous twist.
**That repetition was intended, as were all of the
other nonsensical sentences.
March 21st, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Cooking is a learning experience!!!
I think your hypothesis is very scientifically sound…..Don’t worry about the tingling of the toes, that will come later…..
Even the best of us have our cooking….ummm….un-inspirations…..check out my blog to see my rainbow mashed potato recipe…..
Keeper
March 21st, 2006 at 3:08 pm
hmmmm
Was that like a creative writing assignment?
Perty funny. Me thinks that them unions has affected yer brain.
In case I haven’t told ya lately, you make me laugh!
~Aunt Spiffy who is coming home TOMORROW!
March 21st, 2006 at 6:30 pm
LOL
Coie, I’m glad y’all didn’t die… I was beginning to wonder….
*evil grin*
March 21st, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Bill (LibertyandJustice, but my password ain't resetting)
Are you feeling OK? Maybe the Tennessee “Heat” has gotten to your head. Did I mention that it’s COLD in Tennessee?
March 21st, 2006 at 11:22 pm
We don't need no steenkin subjict.
Ah reckon, that thar tale makes me feel ’bout as happy as horse in a clamshell.
March 22nd, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Untitled Comment
Coie, you are hilarious. I love your story. hahaha. Glad no one kicked the bucket. lol.
Have a great day,
Ashley
March 22nd, 2006 at 4:01 pm
LOL!
That was really funny! I’m laughing so hard that i’m crying! Happy blogging!
In Christ
BeccaLoo
March 22nd, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Untitled Comment
Coie,
You always have something funny to say, I am so glad you are enjoying the ahem bounty of your property.
Love,
Jennifer
March 23rd, 2006 at 12:36 am
Untitled Comment
You are simply a genius. A miracle worker indeed.
I salute you, Dr. Coie– medicine woman!
But I’ll have to pass on the stew.
Oh and that hick accent was hi-larious!
March 23rd, 2006 at 1:05 am
Latest Update!!!!
Mother has weird rash behind her neck and strange muscle pains in neck crawling down into the shoulders.
Father is unable to sleep. With spout of insomnia goes on a 40 hour dive to NY.
Baby Brother starts slamming his head into things, including the brick fireplace
Sister can not stop talking
Oldest Brother runs around in freezing weather without a shirt
A foul odor engulfs the house… Turns out to be one persons bad breath….
Is it the toxic unguns or is it just TN…..
March 23rd, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Re: :Latest update…
>>Mother has weird rash behind her neck and strange muscle pains in neck crawling down into the shoulders. >>>
I hope she hasn’t been playing in the poison ivy again!!!!
~Miss Amy Beth <><