Cozie Blog

Life is nice when you're Cozie

I Nearly Lost My Toe

by coie - July 21st, 2006.
Filed under: Uncategorized.

In my last post I mentioned that I was training my cousin PAUL to take over a part of TOS.  Just to give you a clue of how non-common-sensical he is, here is a look into a conversation we had.

Paul: Oh, you're cutting onions?  Don't cry!
Me: It doesn't bother me as long as I rinse it with cold water and don't breathe in the fumes.
Paul: Whatever!  The fumes get in your eye and that makes it hurt.  Here, I'll prove it.

And with that, he held half an onion about 1/8″ from his eye until both
eyes burned.  I think he could have proved his point just as well
with the internet.  Or, if we were both confident, he should have
told me, “Oh yeah?  Then hold this up to your eye to see what
happens”…But no, he had to prove it with his eye. As for me, if I don't breathe when I cut the onions, I don't cry.

The rest of my post is not for the queezy, so don't look if you fall in
that category otherwise you might throw up on your keyboard and be
cleaning it out all night with tweezers and kleenex.  I have three
subjects, and I'll start with the less gory ones.  The first one
deals with spit, the second, bones, and the third, blood.  And no,
I didn't eat anybody.

Yesterday after driving in circles for about an hour, half my family
arrived at a blogger picnic held in Virginia.  When we arrived, my
car smelled funny and it had been running awfully bad on the way
up.  So I popped my hood and checked my oil.  It was plumb
dry.  I probably nearly killed my engine because I think it's been
out for a while.

Anyways, I had to get some stuff out of my trunk and in the process I
managed to get stung by a bee on my hand.  So I told mom, “Er, I
think I just got stung, but it doesn't hurt very bad.”  The pain
increased and the sting started to itch, too.  All of the sudden I
felt very bright.  I started looking through the grass and found
I promptly picked a leaf, stuck it in my mouth, chewed it up something
fierce and spit it out onto the sting.  Then I massaged it
in.  The pain and itch went away almost instantly, and so did the
bump.  After about 1 hour I could hardly find the spot where I was
stung.  Then everyone started talking about it, and wanted me to
find another bit of plantain so that they could examine it.  Boy
oh boy did I feel like a genius.

My second bit of grossness is that we've nearly got an entire cow
skeleton in our yard.  The dogs keeps chewing on the nastiest
smelling things ever.

Ok, and number 3– the grossest of all.  While I was training Paul again today, my friend, KATIE-LOU
called.  While I was talking to her, I realized that Paul's boxers
were sticking out of his pants (like always), so instead of announcing
it while I was on the phone, I decided I'd just kick him and then point
to his pants when he turned around and glared.  But I never
exactly kicked him.  Instead, I hit the chair he was sitting in
and nearly lost my toe.  It hurt, but not too bad.  But THEN,
upon further observation, I realized that I had cracked nearly half my
toenail off.  I think Kaitlyn was laughing over the phone the
whole time. 

After I got off the phone, I took lots of pictures and then I had to
pull the rest of it off my toe.  Which hurt.  And now it is
wrapped in a band-aid because it goes numb every time it hits something
(which is often).  Here are some pictures for your
viewing…..enjoyment.  Warning: my toes/feet are actually uglier
than the “wound”.


9 Responses to I Nearly Lost My Toe

  1. Untitled Comment

    you are disgusting.

    PS i don’t think that’s a cow skeleton. i think it’s a dinosaur

  2. Untitled Comment

    Your toe looks worse then mine! (Erin says “Gross! I HATE feet!!!)

  3. LibertyandJustice

    Untitled Comment

    Don’t you hate when that happens? (banging up one’s toe, not the other icky stuff)

  4. Untitled Comment

    Firstly, you spelled my name wrong *gasp* Not the Katie-Lou but Kaitlin, you spelled it Kaitlyn… 🙁

    Secondly, glad I got to see the wound.

    Thirdly, I hope it gets better soon 🙂

  5. Untitled Comment

    You are hilarious! And yeah, that’s really gross. Really. Fortunately I don’t sicken easily. : ) Thanks for commenting on my blog, and I can tell I’m going to enjoy reading yours. Glad to meet you!


  6. OW!!

    One time I was drying my Dad’s mug and it fell off the handle. The cup landed on my foot and shattered into pieces.

    That’s probably about the closest I’ve come!

  7. Hmmm.

    That toenail is going to look really strange as it starts to grow back. That part sticking up on the left might keep it from healing properly.

    I’ve lost several toenails over the course of my life. It doesn’t hurt nearly so bad as most people think.

  8. I did #3 last week!

    It hurt like crazy but my looked worse! (he he he) Good thinking with the bee sting. I would never have remembered that.

  9. Untitled Comment

    Ew…YUCK! The pictures of your toe give me shivers….ugh!!!! thanks for posting! lol

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