Cozie Blog

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Anti-Kleenex

by coie - April 28th, 2006.
Filed under: Uncategorized.

I'm convinced that Kleenex not only has
addictive properties, but also makes conditions worse.  This has
been the sneeziest days of my life.  We stole all the kleenex from
my aunt's house, since we are almost out of toilet paper and didn't
want to waste it on our noses.  Anyways, I think every time I blew
my nose the Kleenex was blowing that white fuzz that you find in the
air and makes you feel like you can't breathe up my nasal cavity. 
And then I would have another fit of sneezing.  So not only was I
shoving kleenex up my nose all day, but I've been sneezing the small
remnants of my brain out.

And then our neighbors that we never met before showed up while we all
had swollen eyes and red noses.  I'm sure we left a lasting
impression.  Hardy har har.  We'll meet the rest of their
family on Sunday, when we try the church down our road.  It's
almost depressing trying new churches out here.  I don't think
anyone actually tries to understand the Bible.  I don't doubt the
sincerity of their love for God, but their theology is quite upside
down here in the Bible belt. 

Tomorrow we are going to a birthday party for a new friend.  He is
turning 13 and is a crackup.  I guess we are playing paintball,
but I'm a bit stressed for a couple reasons.  When we went to
their house before, he was telling us about his cousins who play
paintball with them.  Apparently they are in the Marines (so they
know how to use a gun) and they've got automatics…I've got a
semi-automatic (it'll shoot as fast as I can pull the trigger).  I
think if they show up I will hand over my gun to Bobo and stay inside
the whole time.  I'm not exactly best friends with pain. 
Especially when it comes in large quantities.  I can handle
bruises and scratches…not welts.  I'll give you the outcome
tomorrow.

Question: When are you officially too old to play on the monkey bars and swings at the park?

10 Responses to Anti-Kleenex

  1. TNMOMTOMANYBLESSINGS

    Untitled Comment

    To answer your question : NEVER

    As for pain — I’m with you. Stay inside by your momsies side. That is always a safe bet.

    I hope you enjoy the new church….even just a little bit. Many churches have worship services and hardly get intot he Bible. I know many people do Bible studies so that they can go indepth and understand it better since the churches done’t cover everything. You may want to join a Bible study.

    Sorry everyone is red eyed. ALLERGIES maybe. Welcome to Spring in East Tennessee.

    Blessings,

    Auntie Maria

  2. CAgirlwithasoutherndrawl

    An age limit?

    Naw, there’s no age limit…..a weight limit, for obvious reasons, but you are good to go.

    Swing on monkey girl.

    ~Aunt S.

  3. Hey, Coie!

    I’ve never played paintball… so no useful advice there.

    What kind of church did you used to go to? Obviously, I go to an OPC (Orthodox Presbyterian Church). Theology’s good. ^_^

  4. answer to your question!

    You are never too old, When you know you should stop…When you can no longer walk on your own, and can no longer hold your own body weight!

  5. The Only Thing You Have to Fear is Fear Itself

    Don’t let the marines or they’re fancy schmancy hardware intimidate you.

    It’s tactics that make the difference between bragging rights and purple bruises. Good camoflage is also a BIG plus. If you have a good set of BDU’s, throw some flat black electrical tape over your shiny gun and get your Dad to help you spray paint your mask(remembert to remove the faceplate first) and sit sitll you’ll be able to gain near invisibilty crouched in the right bush.

    A few notes on automatics, unless you’re playing on a tight, close range course they aren’t that big of an advantage. Unless they’re really high end autos, you can fan off a similar rate of fire with quick trigger fingers. Also, you can often sucker auto users into burning they’re ammo up and putting themselves out of the game. If you get into an even fight, with both shooters behind cover you’ll fire a shot or two, they’ll shoot twenty back. If you do the math, they run out pretty quick.

    As for marines “knowing how to use guns” from what I’ve heard and seen that isn’t necessarily true (it’s a tragedy in my opinion). Last time I was at the range they’re were a couple reservists at the range with an AR-15 (the civilian version of the M16 service rifle) they were barely staying in a 1′ square at 50 yards! Not what you’d call tack driving. Another revealing example is my boss. He was the small arms PO on his sub while in the navy (the guy in charge caring for all the guns). He tells how cool his .45 was but he couldn’t tell me if it was a revolver or semi-auto. He thinks it was a Smith and Wesson. I’d bet $100 dollars it was a Colt 1911.

    Finally, if you want to avoid pain just set down a few rules at the beginning of the game. Flutter your eyelashes and beg your opponents to turn they’re air down. Act like you know what you’re doing and lecture them on how they have it turned up way to high. Secondly, Try and impose a rule whereby everyone gets the same amount of ammo. Remember the math of full-auto. If none of this works, there’s another strategy. If you can’t beat ’em join’em. Just be on the same team with the marines.

    There’s no excuse for avoiding paintball. Anyhow that’s my 2 cents.

  6. Untitled Comment

    The Great Kleenex Conspiracy! You won’t see that on FOXNews!

    I know how discouraging it can be to find a really good church. One thing I have found, the really, really good ones don’t do a lot of advertising, you have to learn about them word of mouth. So, start asking everyone you meet what church they go to! Just be careful that it isn’t some weird cult!

    Abiding in the Vine!

  7. Untitled Comment

    ” but I’ve been sneezing the small remnants of my brain out.”

    -Sorry coie, but youcan only do that if you HAVE a brain! ha,ha,ha, no,no I’m just picking on you! 🙂

    That’s a bummer about the church thing! I know how you fel though. WE left our church of about 8 years almost 2 years ago. I had grown up in that church and really knew nothig else, so it ws reaaalally hard adjusting!

    Oh, and I totallllly know how you feel about the paintball thing. I would either get on THEIR team, or watch….. OR play, but stay hiding the ENTIRE time!

    Good luck Kid, it was nice knowing ya! 🙂

  8. Here is a book for you to read

    Hey Coie

    I don’t know what kinds of books you like but if you like Lord of the Rings you will like this series.

    The Lamb Among Stars by Chris Walley.

    You can purchase this series from our http://spaces.msn.com/soulresteducationalsuppl/ too.

    Hope you have a GREAT trip.

    Luv SuperAngel

  9. Untitled Comment

    You are never too old to play on monkey bars or swings…well, if your talking about the kind of m.b’s that go straight in a row but those dome looking things..there’s gotta be an age limit to sticking you rear-end up in the air while climbing!! I’m 29 and I love to play at the park with my kids. Especially yhe swings.

  10. Untitled Comment

    Answer: Never too old to play on monkeybars and swing (although it gets less comfortable the older or heavier you get!)

    I with you on the Kleenex thing. Like any other spoiled brat, I can only use the kind with lotion…it’s extra thick and there are usually no fuzzies!

    Hope you feel better soon and survive the b-day party. I think your best bet would be to find a good place to hide like a sniper and just be still until you see them in your sights…and wear a very thick, thick vest or something. Ouch!

    Love,

    Marsha

    PS Good luck on the church hunt. We usually call in advance and get the whole doctrine/Bible thing straightened out over the phone before we bother wasting a Sunday or Wednesday actually visiting in person. Praying for God to lead y’all to the perfect church home!!!

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